Katherine Woodward Thomas: Conscious Uncoupling – Turning a Breakup into a Breakthrough

Divorce can be an insane process. At best it usually leaves everyone involved emotionally exhausted. But, did you know that it is possible to use the divorce process as a way to grow as a person and lead your best life?  Author,  Katherine Woodward Thomas believes it is possible. Woodward Thomas  is the author of the non-fiction book, Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After. The book was cited in news stories last year when actress Gwyneth Paltrow announced that she and her husband, rock musician Chris Martin, were “consciously uncoupling.” It sounds overly New-Age and “holistic” but what exactly is Conscious Uncoupling, and why should couples, married or unmarried, want to learn about it?

You may have heard about the book in the news when actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her then husband, musician Chris Martin, were going to “consciously uncouple.”Although it sounds a bit farfetched, it is really just a new viewpoint on ending a marriage. The author says that her view is that people can be warm, respectful and inclusive when they are splitting and they can “go out of their way to do so to create a new sense of family.  You don’t have to throw your partner “under the bus” when you divorce, although the typical adversarial divorce really sets it up to do just that. It is unfortunate that the only person that walks away whole is the attorney who made a whole bunch of money helping one part of the couple get one over on the other. This does not lead to good relations in the future which when children are involved is especially heinous.

The thing is you don’t have to throw your partner “under the bus” when you divorce, although the typical adversarial divorce really sets it up to do just that. It is unfortunate that the only person that walks away whole is the attorney who made a whole bunch of money helping one part of the couple get one over on the other. This does not lead to good relations in the future which when children are involved is especially heinous.

Divorce mediation lends itself to creating, respectful, and fair agreements that work to separate the households in the best way for each. It doesn’t help anyone if one spouse comes out so far ahead that it damages relationships between the parents and ends up hurting the children who do see and witness what happened and whether it was fair. Wouldn’t it be better for them to see their parents,”heal their hearts, rediscover their joy and transform their lives?

Watch the video to find out more.

 

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It’s not your BFF’s Divorce

We’re all familiar with the cliché—divorcing couples who have come to hate each other so much they fight for things in the divorce decree more to hurt the other party than for any rational reason.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

The end of a marriage is never going to be a bright and cheerful transition, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be World War III. I read a New York Times article recently about divorced couples that decided to live in separate homes quite close to each other so they could share parenting duties while living their separate lives. It got me thinking about divorce and how important it is to do what’s right for you and your family rather than what someone expects of you.

Some marriages end with the cliché and people who have lived through it can’t be blamed if their experience colors whatever conversations they have with others who are getting a divorce, but there is no more reason to believe your divorce has to be the same as someone else’s than there is to believe your marriage has to be the same as someone else’s.

Here are seven divorce cliche questions and how to deal with them:

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